Now that I’ve gotten your attention…

Women, I have constructed a very detailed list as to why it is NOT ok for you to lift weights or lift heavy:

1) You will look like a man.

No, seriously. As soon as you pick up your first barbell, you instantly become a man. Your breasts disappear. Your voice quickly deepens. Your muscles grow to massive measures damn near overnight. Everything feminine about you, dissipates during your very first training day.

2) Muscles are not sexy.

They aren’t. You want to know what’s sexy? Ribcages. Being able to see the entire skeletal frame directly beneath the skin is sexy. Anything other than that is just not sexy. Well, of course, there are the obese women that genuinely hate you because you should look like them. face it– that’s what a real woman looks like. As for how men see you– Where’s your kitchen apron and the kid that should be hanging from your tit? The only iron you should lift is the hot one that takes the wrinkles out of clothes. Besides, men like women who are half naked with no muscle definition. Just as long as you’re showing half your ass, most of your breasts and anything else you can get away with showing. Men won’t call you derogatory names, then.

3) Lifting weights will make you heavy.

Don’t grow muscle because muscle is much heavier than fat, so just tone up. If you lift to grow stronger and have more muscle, because muscle is so much heavier than fat, the scale number will actually go up!! You don’t want that. It’ll defeat the purpose of working out!

4) Lifting weights will give you self-gratitude and a sense of loving yourself.

No one likes a woman that is independent or is comfortable with standing out and taking charge of herself. It’s a turn off… and it makes you a bitch. Don’t be a bitch. No one wants a woman who takes care of herself, all head strong and assertive. No. People like women to know their place (see #2). People want women to be submissive and needy. If a woman begins to empower themselves, if they begin to love themselves, if they begin to understand and accept the strengthen their lives, well, that means they can do bad all by themselves and won’t depend on anyone for anything because they can do it themselves. Don’t be a bitch.

5) Lifting sets a bad example to your kids (if you have them).

Not only is it unacceptable for you to care for your health, but your habits will run off onto your kids. The example you set will cause your children to have that same self-empowered mentality, causing them to be a bit different than the other kids on the playground. Not only that, but if they play team sports, they might excel a bit more than the other kids. Nobody likes a show off. Nobody likes a kid who has any more knowledge about how to get things done, how to work harder than everyone else, how to be disciplined, how to never give up… They’re kids. The only thing that they are supposed to do is play video games, sit on the couch, eat candy and potato chips and worship the television. This will also keep them, along with their parents, in the VIP section of the hospitals, pharmacies, urgent care, school nurses’ station, and pushing for that MVP for big pharmaceutical companies. Stop ruining your kids with that madness about taking care of themselves. It makes you a bitch.

6) Last, but not least, you are not allowed to be stronger than a man.

No way, no how. A man is the epitome of strength. Besides, men built this world. Men control everything. I mean, it was probably a woman that carried the child in the womb for 9 months, then gave birth to it, then raised him up to be a man, but that doesn’t matter. You are not supposed to be able to bench a man’s bodyweight. You are not supposed to be able to deadlift double some men’s bodyweight. You are absolutely NOT supposed to go into the gym and pick up the 40lb dumbbells for curls, while the man next to you is about to throw his back out with those 30s. Nope. Nuh-uh. That makes you a bitch. That makes you manly. Stop it.

Now, ladies… if you have read this list, here’s what I want you to do. I want you to, mentally, ball this up and throw it in the trash. Dispose of it, now! What I have listed above are all the bullshit things I have heard over social media, in the gym, and even from other women that despise the healthy woman and her ways. It’s appauling and shameful. Throw it away.

In this society, it has come to a point where a woman can’t be a woman if she lives up to her self made standards. It infuriates me to see men, who are obviously intimidated, insecure, and threatened by a woman that knows what she wants, knows how to get it, works hard for it, and won’t take no for an answer, because she will do it, anyway. What is even more disheartening are women that degrade another woman simply because she has muscle or because another woman has more muscle than than the average man. Do I, a man, have to remind these insecure women of just how far women have come? Do women and men not see how much of this world, from corporations to government, military to business owned stay at home moms, are being led by women? So, if a woman wants to build a strong body to match her strong mind and an even stronger heart, you should applaud her and support her. You should NOT put her down or bring her down simply because she is doing the things you sit around wishing you could do, which, by the way, you CAN DO. That’s a matter of choice.

Now, let’s get into debunking some of that crap list:

1) Naturally, you will NOT look like a man.

Notice the use of the word “naturally”. Lifting weights, lifting heavy weights, will not make you turn into a man, let alone look like one. Hormonally, it’s not naturally possible. It, also, doesn’t happen overnight. If that were the case, as a man, I would have had to have every home I have ever lived in, altered just so that I could fit through the doorways and hallways. Without getting into too much science, women do not produce enough of the muscle building hormones that men have. But that doesn’t negate the FACT that women are able to put on lean muscle mass. Yes, it takes time. It takes a LOT of time, and a lot of discipline, passion, consistency, and goal setting. It may take years to achieve anyting close to what some of the big name fitness industry ladies’ have displayed. But, they have made this their life. Not a hobby. They get paid to do it, to be it, to get better at it. Now, I know there are some women that turn to some drug use to pack on pounds of muscle. I get that. But, so what?! Who cares? They are still women. They are still living their passions and their dreams. They are still women that set goals and do what it takes to accomplish and be successful, even knowing the backlash and scrutiny that will come with it. More importantly, they are still human beings. It’s disgusting some of the things I have read on social media with what people say. Usually these comments come from “private” profiles or profiles of people who’s profile picture is that of a cat or a child. If a person is lucky enough, they can see actual pictures of the person staking claims of knowing exactly what a woman should look like and the best ones are those that are skinnier than my 8 year old. Usually males, and a lot of times, women who are obviously uncomfortable with themselves, therefore throwing their misery at others who are secure with themselves.

2) Muscle IS sexy.

It portrays, whether on a man or woman, a persons ability to dedicate themselves. It’s a sign that a person is able to see things through and are able to hold a level of discipline that the majority of people can’t grasp. It displays a level of self-worth and self-respect. There is a ton of work that goes into building these physiques that people hate on so much. A ton of hours in training. A ton of hours in the kitchen. They miss countless fun events, and sometimes, family time. Do not discredit the amount of heart that goes into it. Building muscle is hard work.

3) A pound is a pound.

Muscle or fat, a pound is a pound. Muscle is more dense than fat, but, again, a pound is a pound. Science. If my bodyfat decreases and my weight stays the same or increases, I am totally ok with that.

4) Commitment and confidence.

Women that have the level of commitment it takes to build a physique as they have envisioned, will certainly become a more driven woman, a more focused woman, a stronger woman. She becomes more confident in her mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical abilities. A woman who lifts and exercises, takes charge of her own life. She becomes the woman she wants to be day after day. No one said it was easy. No one said she would be any less of a woman or human being. I said, she becomes stronger on all levels and this deserves applause.

5) Absorb knowledge, not food

Personally, I think it should be deemed a level of child abuse when I see some parents shoving certain foods into their kids’ mouths. The obesity rate of our children rises every year and it is usually due to the inactive, uneducated nutritionally, careless parents. So, to say that a healthy, active mom is setting a bad example is ridiculous. Our kids are like sponges. They soak up every thing they see and hear. They are, most times, reflections of their parents and their parents’ habits. So if a mom breaks down onto the living room floor to knock out 100 push ups, no matter how hard they are to do, and the kid sees her struggle but also sees her not give up until they are done, what horrible message is there? None. Our children take just as much pride in their parents as we do in our children, and they mimic what we do, because, let’s face it, we are our kid’s very first super hero.

6) Be powerful.

Even without lifting, a woman is stronger than a man, anyway. No, I’m not looking for brownie points. I’m in pre-contest prep so I don’t need the extra macros. I’m being honest. Women are designed to be stronger than a man. Through history to the present day, women have been the sole foundation of most of men’s biggest accomplishments. So, it is no different when a woman walks up to a squat rack and warms up with your one rep max. Don’t be butt hurt about it. That’s your fault. By the way, jealousy and intimidation seen in a man is actually the worst thing a man can display. She may have started with the barbell and worked her way up to that 300 pound squat, while you played around thinking you were God’s gift to regular women. Don’t hate.

As I wrap this up, let me finish by saying that all women are beautiful. If you find yourself uncomfortable in your skin and you feel like something needs to be done to improve that, then do so. It will not be easy and it will not happen overnight. Instead of looking at your peers and bashing their journey, unknowing of what hardships they may have faced to get through to where they are now, try seeing them as an inspiration, a tool of motivation. A majority of these women that have to take in all the negativity spewed at them, are also a part of a movement that women AND MEN everywhere can benefit from. It is no secret that my biggest all time motivational physique belongs to not that of a man, but belongs to a woman by the name of Dana Linn Bailey, Ms. Physique Olympia Champion. It’s not only her physique but knowing her back story, knowing the hardships, knowing the work that has gone into her accomplishing all that she has accomplished, inspires me to do better and be better. Isn’t that what humanity is about? Or at least should be?

If you are one of the people that go out of your way to downplay women and what they have done, whether in the gym or in the world, as a way of being better people, then to you, I say– stop being a bitch.